A pocket field guide
Know the room.
Ruin it anyway.
Dad jokes, filed by the situation you are already in. Birthday, funeral, pickleball, the pharmacy line — pick your room.
Suggested for today
Pharmacy
Not while they are counting pills. After.
30 situations · 180 jokes
Birthday party
After the cake. Before anyone asks your age out loud.
6 jokes
Wedding
After the vows. Before the bar closes.
6 jokes
Funeral
Whisper only. Eye contact optional.
6 jokes
Baby shower
Someone will pretend they have not heard these.
6 jokes
Graduation
The cap is sideways. So is your timing.
6 jokes
Retirement party
They finally have time to hear the whole bit.
6 jokes
Grocery store
Aisle seven. Someone asked what is for dinner.
6 jokes
Hardware store
You are holding the wrong screw. Lean in.
6 jokes
Pharmacy
The wait is eight minutes. You have six jokes.
6 jokes
Bank
Interest is low. So is the room.
6 jokes
DMV
You have a number and nowhere to be.
6 jokes
Coffee shop
Your name is already spelled wrong. Finish the job.
6 jokes
Gas station
You are already pumping money into the ground.
6 jokes
Pickleball
Between games. Never during the dink.
6 jokes
Golf
Someone just shanked it. You have a duty.
6 jokes
Bowling
Gutter balls come with a complimentary setup.
6 jokes
Fishing
Nothing is biting. That is your cue.
6 jokes
Camping
The fire is going. So are you.
6 jokes
Beach
Sun, sand, and a captive audience with nowhere to sit farther away.
6 jokes
First date
A test. They will either stay or invent an early morning.
6 jokes
Family dinner
Politics is banned. Puns are not.
6 jokes
Office meeting
Someone said circling back. You have been summoned.
6 jokes
Elevator
You have eight floors. Make them count.
6 jokes
Airport
The flight is delayed. Treat it as an invitation.
6 jokes
Dentist
They asked how you have been. You have one joke and no dental dam.
6 jokes
Traffic jam
Nobody is going anywhere. Including the conversation.
6 jokes
Thanksgiving
The turkey is dry. You do not have to be.
6 jokes
Christmas
Someone got socks. Someone has to say it.
6 jokes
New Year's Eve
A whole year of material, due at midnight.
6 jokes
Cookout
You are flipping burgers. You may also flip a room.
6 jokes